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Not All Who Wander Are Lost
01 December 2008 @ 02:17 am
wow time sure does fly...
I just go back from visiting el paso and ill be back again in el paso next week
but being here and going back, i think i like it up here in lubbock better
i dont have to deal with drama cuz i dont know anyone here and pretty much everyone leaves me alone
Ray... ugh ray my fatal attraction and love...
so much we have gone through and so much we have put up with but sometimes i feel like it isnt even worth trying to keep what we have anymore, it seems to be more problem than solution
2 years is a lot... and things are only getting more complicated... what will we do...
and then there is justin... a guy up here who is interesing... but unknown... what does he bring and who is he... i already know you dont like him and dont want me around him... but... we arent together so ill do what i damn well please
life is strange right now... and weird... confusing...
i just wanna focus on school... not boys... or drama that is distracting and evil...
just leave it at the door on the way in... please
i hate it with a passion
Current Location: Lubbock
Current Mood: busybusy
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
26 October 2008 @ 08:03 pm
Yay, I found out that my sister is coming to El Paso too for Thanksgiving ^_^
So I have a feeling that this holiday is going to be good, can't wait!!!
Current Mood: excitedexcited
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
25 October 2008 @ 02:18 pm
Well some things are going good, others are still in questioning. Life here in Lubbock is, of course lonely, but kind of peaceful. Sure I miss my friends, but then I like it because I don't really have to deal with the drama at home. Yet somehow it still ends up following me here in the end. Still I can't wait to get home for the holidays and see everyone again.

My brother is finally go be back so I get to bug him before he leave again. Fucking military is sending him to Afghanistan this time. I'm scared, I don't want anything happening to him, yes he is smart and can take care of himself. I just want him home in one piece, that includes his mentality. I hate the war.

The one issue I am constantly dealing with is Ray. Yes, the guy i've been seeing for over the last two years. I am not sure if I want to continue being with him or not. We have been arguing nonstop over stupid stuff. He keeps telling me that I am using school as an excuse. It isn't an excuse, it is difficult. I am trying figure out myself, what I want, and where I want to go in the long run. I can't deal with you when you throwing stuff at me like that. You are still in high school and don't know what it is like out here. You still live your sheltered life, where you don't have to worry about the money to pay for classes and books. Where you are gonna get that money for next year and the year after that. You still take simple things for granted, like doing laundry whenever you want, home cooked meals, etc.

Meh, no use getting worked up about it now, we'll see what happens when I see him again. Either way, nothing is gonna ruin my coming home, I am going to have fun. ^_^
Current Mood: amusedamused
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
08 October 2008 @ 10:43 pm
omg... i cant believe i faltered
im so disappointed with myself

well start again and see what happens
Current Mood: aggravatedaggravated
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
08 October 2008 @ 01:05 pm
day two down
working on day three now

ugh and more temptation has arisen today x_x
tons of chocolate
i will not eat it... nope nope

but it looks so good x_x
i want it
Current Mood: boredbored
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
so... one day down
i wonder how long i can go
so far, if i resist temptation, this will be day two
its not as hard as i originally thought it would be and since there is no one to keep tabs on me makes it all the simpler, especially since they only have my word to go by...

lets see the true strength of my will power
can i succeed???
Current Mood: apatheticapathetic
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
06 October 2008 @ 02:56 pm

I am getting to the point to where i dont even want to answer your texts, your phone calls, IMs, NOTHING... nothing at all... I think about even cutting off all contact with you forever... I NEVER wanna hear from you again
Current Mood: pissed offpissed off
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
02 October 2008 @ 10:11 am
Gah! My moods are haywire!!! The fluctuate up and down constantly x_x
i hate it with a passion... its super annoying not to mention inconvenient...
grr... blah... well its finally October.. YAY! which means its closer to November woo!

bah and my dreams... are crazy!!!!
XD talk about what the subconscious wants... it'll make its presence known in my dreams... hahaha
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
27 September 2008 @ 07:59 pm
I found this awsome store and it is now my favorite store ever... they have to coolest and most random stuff ever!
They have those mardi gras masks or festival masks which ever. They have belly dancing outfits, Egyptian stuffs and skulls, incense, bamboo plants... they most coolest stuff ever!

well not much has happened this week, i dont have to go to anatomy lecture class this monday, but i have test again next week and the week after.

I wish i had a car or motorcycle so i could get to walmart easier instead of walking. Blah i need to go to walmart tomorrow to get some things... and its like really far away x_x i hate that.
Current Location: room
Current Mood: hyperhyper
Not All Who Wander Are Lost
25 September 2008 @ 10:14 am
So... I believe I have lost myself somewhere from El Paso to Lubbock. I haven't found a self revelation or anything along those lines. I don't know who I am or what I want out of life anymore. Things just get so complicated so fast and I'm getting overwhelmed over the issue the more I think about it. Turns out I might even have to stay here for 5 years instead of 4, but then again it isnt so bad, just more education and the more valuable my abilities will be valued. Maybe. Money is an issue and I need a job to save up for anything... just save... I need a car to get around, but don't have the money for that or even the insurance that would be needed to go along with it. Perhaps I should have joined the military just to save up all the money from there and use it. I mean they pay well enough, I just don't wanna be part of that stupid war. So... yea... I don't know anymore...
Current Mood: confusedconfused
Current Music: Avril Lavigne